Journey to Forgiveness
Forgiveness comes more front and center every day. I’m learning that forgiveness didn’t just happen because I gave a nod to it. I am growing into it. In the early days of self-forgiveness I didn’t know what to do with it, how to take up the heart space that opened in my life. No grumbling about it taking 40-plus years to arrive, only praise and gratitude. I sing hallelujah, and thank you God!
What kind of person makes the life-changing decision to essentially abandon her three young daughters and husband of 14 years? At age 33, I did not own the emotional resources to ask myself what the effects of such a cause would be. I’ve lived with the consequences of that momentous act, and spent 40 years reassembling those relationships as well as understanding and forgiving myself.
The journey has been long, often lonely, and laden with low vibrations: guilt, shame, fear, doubt. All necessary emotions as I wandered through the desert in search of self. And, paradoxically, as miracles allow, it’s been an amazing journey, despite my parallel path of empowerment alongside feelings of unworthiness, I’ve set about, and accomplished, things I never dreamed of. I’ve blossomed full-orb into the true authentic person I was meant to be, into my true spiritual power. As Gary Zukav says, “. . .accepting our consequences is a pathway to our authentic power.”
I’m not only grateful to Spirit for helping me break down the barriers to love, but also to the players in my life who were the catalyst for my metamorphosis: my three beautiful daughters, their father, and Barbara, their step-mother: Those I left behind as I set out on my journey.
This newly opened sacred heart space is now full, a family united – a tightly-knit circle of love. And there’s more to come!