Waking up. What kind of person makes the life-changing decision to essentially abandon her husband of fourteen years and their three young daughters, shattering five lives in the process? In 1972, at thirty-three years of age, I did not own the emotional resources to ask myself that question. I made the decision to leave with no understanding of the psychological causes for my actions and their effects, which would forever reverberate through our lives.
My leaving was prompted by an inner voice from somewhere deep inside my core. The call, so strong, I knew I needed to pay attention. The summons came when I was still spiritually asleep.
Waking up to a spiritual consciousness was a long time coming. As my eyes slowly fluttered open, the early trauma began to fade, making way for my light to shine on the truth.
The Spirit know no past…it is swallowed up in the victory of a perfect present…filled with love and protection. –Ernest Holmes
My journey to wakefulness took nearly a half century to process. In stages I found the resources I needed when I was ready to use them—some took longer than others to arrive. Now, fully awake, I live in constant amazement and gratitude to the Infinite for It’s “unseen” presence, always hovering, keeping me safe.
Only with putting words to my journey did forgiveness and freedom come. While writing my memoir, Flight Instructions: A Journey Through Guilt to Forgiveness, my pen became the conduit, the guiding force to the truth. The reward at the end: my true authentic nature. Always there, albeit hidden from the light. Finally, the invisible meets the visible.
Time heals all wounds, adjusts conditions, explains facts; and time alone satisfies the expanding soul, reconciling the visible with the invisible. – Ernest Holmes